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Quizmaster: Ryan Wickens

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Creator and Owner, Quizmaster Trivia

Follow Ryan on Twitter...
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Ryan G. Wickens founded Quizmaster Trivia in the winter of 2006 while tending bar during his senior year at university. The pub quiz was intended to be a fun part-time hobby, but eventually turned into a full-time mini-trivial-empire!

As the creator and owner of Quizmaster Trivia, Ryan is responsible for all creative aspects of the Quizmaster brand; he writes all the questions and creates all the picture sheets for each and every game, and often sites himself as a "walking encyclopedia!"

Since 2006, he has written over 25,000 trivia questions and hosted over 1500 quiz events!

In that time, he has generated millions of dollars in revenue for his clients via the Quizmaster brand.  

He has also hosted private quiz shows for Fortune 500 companies such as MillerCoors, GE, KPMG, as well as for local non-profit and charitable organizations.

He promises that one day he will publish his questions in a book! Only time will tell.

Ryan grew up in London (eastender!) just a short walk from Upton Park, home of West Ham United football club, explaining his die-hard passion for the Hammers. Having lived in Wisconsin since 2003 though, he has also become a passionate Green Bay Packers fan!

In his spare time, Ryan enjoys snowboarding, mountain biking, golfing, rock climbing, collecting watches, traveling, and watching films (lots of films!)

Things Ryan hates: ACL knee surgery (x2, ugh!!), peas, unnecessarily loud talkers.

Things Ryan loves: His pug, facts, Daim bars, watches, rock climbing, mountain biking!

Quizmaster in brief...
Name...Ryan
Birthplace...London, UK
Find Him at...Red Rock Saloon, Milwaukee Brat House, floating around the Quizmaster circuit!
He's drinking...Cider, Vodka Water,
Catchphrase..."Thick and fast"
Fave Quiz Round...Film and Tele
Fave Bonus Round...Film Quote Clips
Sports Teams...West Ham United, Green Bay Packers
Tele Shows...Extras, Only Fools and Horses, The Office, Lost, 24, Breaking Bad, Homeland almost anything on the History Channel
On the iPod...Mumford and Sons, Arctic Monkeys, The Kooks, Empire of the Sun, The Black Keys, alternative and 80s jams.

One Quiz to Rule Them ALL! Our Middle Earth Quiz Recap...

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Brady Street's finest fellowships united at Jack's this past Sunday for Quizmaster's "You Shall Not Quiz" event. Ultimately the race of men were tested on the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit films (to date) and a 70-point haul saw 24 teams tackle some of the toughest LOTR trivia on Middle Earth.

In the end, two teams tied at the top of standings with an impressive 65 from 70 points, as The Prancing Ponies and Hobbitual went at it in sudden death to determine the one quiz team to rule them all.

The tie breaker question asked the wealth of Smaug, as stated by the Forbes Fictional 15, and The Prancing Ponies'answer of $17 billion was closer to the actual answer of $54.1 billion....



They lined up for their championship photo outside, during what was describe by one team as "polar vortex II: the Desolation of Milwaukee."

Also, with the quiz being for charity, the $425 raised would go to Feeding America, as determined by our champs.

That meant second place was handed to Hobbitual, who are obviously stellar LOTR nerds, being just a three-person team...


What a quest from them!

Finally, the real fun was had during the reading of the team names, with the best LOTR-inspired name getting a prize also.

Some honorable mentions went to...

  • The Tolkien Branch of scientology was founded by Elrond Hubbard
  • If Legolas' penis was a box and his semen was an arrow, I wish the small of my back was the target!
  • The Hobbit and the unnecessary sequels
  • Tolkien up: getting higher in the Shire 
  • Speak friend and enter... that's what she said!

But ultimately, Quizmaster Ryan selected "A Bilbo is a girl's best friend"as the best one and that duo walked out with a bar tab...


We wanna thank everyone that came out that night and remember our next event ---Dead Man Quizzin': The Walking Dead Quiz--- is at Jack's on Sunday March 2nd.

Don't miss it!

Until next time Middle Earth, drink while you think...

Sunday January 26th, 2013 scores:

  1. 65 The Prancing Ponies
  2. 65 Hobbitual
  3. 64 Leggo my Viggo
  4. 64 Former Maggot's 'shrooms
  5. 64 The Peter Jackson cameos
  6. 64 The Tolkien Branch of scientology was founded by Elrond Hubbard
  7. 63 I want to blow the Horn of Gondor
  8. 61 Will you blow my Horn of Gondor tonight?
  9. 60 The dead keep it...
  10. 59 If Legolas' penis was a box and his semen was an arrow, I wish the small of my back was the target!
  11. 58 The Hobbit and the unnecessary sequels
  12. 57 Francisco Scaramanguman the White
  13. 55 Tom Bambadil got ripped off
  14. 55 Team Eleventy-one
  15. 54 Tolkien up: getting higher in the Shire
  16. 54 The eye of Sauron looks like Pete Marshall's asshole
  17. 53 Lord of the Nuva Rings
  18. 51 Arctic Vortex II: Desolation of Milwaukee
  19. 51 A Bilbo is a girl's best friend
  20. 46 Team Hufflepuff
  21. 46 Put a ring on it
  22. 41 Speak friend and enter... that's what she said!
  23. 33 We tried
  24. 00 Trandolf the gay

Dead Man Quizzin'... the Walking Dead Quiz is March 2nd...

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Quizmaster is pleased to announce that we doing it again... hosting another special-themed event, this time for "Dead Heads"! Our "Dead Man Quizzin'" event, the Walking Dead Quiz, takes place on Sunday March 2nd, 2014 at Jack's American Pub.


The event comes ahead of major anticipation for the resumption of season four of the series, which airs on February 9th, 2013. The quiz will test Dead Heads on their knowledge of the series to date, including the episodes from season four that have aired thus far.

The event will also take place at the earlier start time of 5:30 p.m., ensuring that it wraps up around 7:30 p.m., in time for that week's episode of The Walking Dead, which airs at 8 p.m CST.

As with previous special one-time events, the fee for this quiz will be $5/person.

Best Team Names of the Month - January 2013...

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Brass Monkey
  • Rectum? I Nearly Killed Him 
  • Gary Coleman Lived a Short Life 
  • My Girlfriend Keeps Saying I Need to Stop Being a Pedophile. Pretty Big Word for a 12 Year Old.
  • The Government May Close, but My Legs Never Do!
  • We Did Poorly in School. And Most Likely in Quizmaster Trivia.
  • Liquor? I Barely Knew Her! 

Cafe Centraal
  • I'm A Bieliber In Deportation
  • Lesbian Barbie Comes In Her Own Box
  • First Rule of Team Names Is You Don't Talk About Team Names!
  • Bieber's Future Cellmates
  • Erin Andrew Is A Thug
  • Bieber's Egging is the Biggest Waste of Eggs Since Bieber's Conception
  • In Last Place
  • Team Names Are Dumb
  • Hitler? I Hardly Know Her?
  • Only 357 Shopping Days Til Christmas
  • New Year, New Regrets

Cafe Hollander
  • Guess What Came In The Mail Today? Me, I Ran Out Of Tissues
  • The Polar Vortex Gives Me A Believable Excuse For Micropenis
  • Three Ovaries And A Brovary
  • Clearly I Need To Read More
  • Fuzzy Door Productions Presents The Bush Twins
  • It's So Cold Out I Just Keyed Someone's Car With My Nipples
  • Vonn Has A Lot Of Time To Wash Tigers Balls 
  • We Obviously have ADD
  • Cold As Tits!!!!

Caffrey's Pub
  • Baghdad Ass Up 
  • Holy Witch-Tits and Warlock-Cocks, It's Cold!!
  • Born in the Bathroom, Still the Shit
  • Edward "Snowed-in"
  • Jack Lewandowksi's # is 248-255-9004
  • Our Drinking Team Has a Trivia Problem
  • Sloppy Eighths 
  • I don't do cocaine, I just like the smell

Camp Bar
  • Oooooh! Nothing is more lovely than the periwinkle cliffs of Dover 
  • Daft Drunk
  • Malcom XXX's speech was "I have a Wet Dream!"
  • We no sports good
  • Real Futbol is kind of like Euro Disney
  • We watched black porn in honor of MLK day
  • We Came, We Saw, We Conquered....Trivia
  • You're so vein, you probably think this quiz is about you.

Centennial
  • Sarah Palin's Son, "Water Polo Palin"
  • Nick Cage is the greatest actor of all time.

Club Garibaldi
  • Chewbacca with a Spiral Perm
  • Ms. Jackson Says: Plastic Bag it if you're nasty. 
  • The weather outside is frightful but my ass hurts
  • Steve Zissou's Aquatic Adventure
  • You invited me in for coffee and I ended up sucking your Polar Vortex
  • Be gentle, it's our first time

Fixture Brewing Company
  • I Drank The Sizzurp And Now I Have The Beieber Feaver!!!
  • On A Night This Cold, Who Wouldn't Want A HOT CARL?
  • Shouldn't It Be Called "Un-Planned Parenthood?"
  • Self Cleaning Dutch Ovens
  • Is It In Yet?
  • Chlamydia Is My Favorite Flower
  • My Mom Sucks At Wrestling But You Should See Her Box
  • Farting In My Fancy Coat

Fox River House
  • Biebs Underground Racing Crew
  • Even with -50 degree wind chill, I’d rather drink and do trivia than drink and watch the State of the Union
  • Your mom has the prettiest face I've ever cum upon 
  • It seems like the team with the longest name always wins, which is bullshit, Bill

The Highbury
  • I've got a "Hard Rock" in my pants!
  • Rattlesnakes and Condoms: Two things I don't fuck with 
  • Mating, Dating, and Masturbating
  • Three blacks, an asian, and a token caucasian
  • Quiz me Quizmaster :)
  • When does karaoke start?
  • Jay Cutler re-signed = 7 more years of The Bears Still Suck.
  • Absolute Zero is signing Jay Cutler to a 7 year extension

Jack's American Pub
  • Quizzard Sleeves 
  • I'm the best cornerback in the league! 
  • "Just give me the damn ten dollars for best team name already"
  • Cram it up your cram-hole, Lafleur
  • Lombardi Went to Jared
  • Pocahontas was an eleven year old man

Loaded Slate
  • 007 Goldfingered My Octopussy 
  • 1 Call, That's All
  • I Love Squirters 
  • Fast 6: J Biebs' Joy Ride
  • Justin Bieber: Very Loose Butthole
  • Bieber's Butt Buddies
  • James and the Giant Dick
  • Messier Than a Coat Hanger Abortion 
  • Larry Sanders' Bottle Service
  • Crouching Tiger Hidden Cucumber
  • Marilyn Manson was My Babysitter 
  • Incest: A Game the Whole Family Can Play
  • What's My Mothaf**kin' Name (Ja Rule voice)
  • Hey Quizmaster, Stop Breaking Ja Rules

Major Goolsby's
  • How Does Moses Make Coffee? Hebrews it!

McGillycuddy's
  • Early Orgasm - The Rest Of Our Team Is Coming Later
  • Taint Of The Union Roses Are Red, Violets Are Shy, Bite The Pillow Bitch, I'm Going In Dry 
  • If Russia IS The Motherland And Germany Is The Fatherland, Was WWII Domestic Violence? 
  • I Love To Watch Children At The Playground Run and Yell, But They Don't Know I'm Using Blanks
  • They're Real And They're Spectacular
  • Phuck Michigan - Nothing Silent About It
  • Wanna See My Payton Manthing
  • Is It OK To Tell Yo Mama Jokes At An Orphanage? 
  • Wanna Hear A Joke? Women's Sports. 
  • What DO You Call The Quizmaster's Cum Towel? A Krispy Kreame
  • Who Needs A Pick-Up Line When You Can Just Lick Someone's Face?

Miller Time Pub
  • It's Cold in Westown and the Wizards aren't Lion!
  • Lesbihonest, MyCy Rules 
  • Victorious Secret 
  • Test Icicles

Milwaukee Brat House
  • When I don't shave, I have a black forest... in my pants
  • What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade your cock in a girl's ass.
  • Elton John's is the real queen of England 
  • I have a GIANT wad of dong... in my pants
  • What's the vietnamese word for cock?!?
  • Muck like Barbie, my dong is anatomically impossible
  • I wish I had a British accent
  • Holy Schlitz it's cold out there
  • My thermostat reads negative fuck off

Mulligans Irish Pub
  • We Were on a Break
  • Boobs are great! We have 8...
  • My mom's playlist...Not!
  • What do they do with dead chemists? They Barium.
  • Our couches pull out but our Husbands don't
  • Havana Omelette

New Berlin Ale House
  • New Jersey Bridge TrafficI
  • t's Not Gay If It's A 3-Way
  • Tie Breaker: Snowball Fight
  • We Cheated For Eighth Place

O'Lydias
  • State of the Union: Meh 
  • Pharrel's Arby's Hat 
  • Guys, Macklemore Sucks. Seriously. 
  • Beiber's Going Back to Canada
  • Yay! I'm getting deported! You best Belieber!
  • If you had as many dicks coming out of you as you had sticking in you, you would look like a damn porcupine!
  • My Girlfriend's 3 Feet Tall and I'm Nuts Over Her!
  • Cool Runnings 2014
  • Chris Christie like a bridge over troubled water
  • Chris Christie should be the new spokesperson for tampax
  • Ripley's believe it or not: We looked up everything on our cellphones
  • Dickless for Michael Chiklis
  • Started from the bottom now we're here... at the bottom.

Panther Pub
  • Raber Rogers Rapers
  • Mogadishu Mogadishu
  • My dad's mustache is older than me!

Red Rock Saloon
  • You can't spell Hoboken without HOBO
  • Justin Bieber - the new Miley Cyrus or the next Paul Walker 
  • I have a dreamcast
  • The 2 states that legalized pot are getting together for a "Super Bowl"
  • Blind Prostitutes: ya gotta hand it to 'em
  • Salvador Dali Parton's surreal boob job
  • Sacajewea is a great coin... to masturbate too
  • It only burns when I pee
  • North Korea is the happiest place on Earth

Riverwest Filling Station
  • South Side Missed Connections
  • George Bush Paints Nudes
  • Al Zheimers Will Be Rocky's Final Opponent
  • It's Not the Size of the Polar Vortex that Counts...

St. Francis Brewery
  • The Walking Talking Stephen Hawkings
  • Our Stradivarius is Playing Us a Crying Tune
  • "Just Eat It"...That's What She Said!
  • The Bieber Deportation Team
  • Obama's Big Black Caucus
  • Rehab is for Quitters 
  • Houston Must Be a Great City, I Hear It's Full of Cougars!

Titletown Brewing Co.
  • Too Fast, Too Furious, Too Soon?
  • I met my girlfriend on healthcare.gov
  • Fast and Furious 7 (minutes) in heaven
  • Scruffy looking nerfherders

Three Lions Pub
  • Who else thinks our quizmaster looks like Jesse from Breaking Bad? 
  • Vagina jokes just aren't funny - period
  • Like a supermodels vagina, please give a warm welcome to Leonardo Dicaprio 
  • You mean we didn't win?! Thanks alot Obama! 
  • Apparently being born in Somalia is a new diet fad 
  • Who gives a fuck about Sarah Palin's kids?! 
  • What's a condom?

Twisted Fisherman
  • If There's Grass on the Field, Play Ball
  • My IPod has a Stutter
  • Our Maine man, Michael Jackson, was a 'Lovefool' and we ain't lion...or tiger

Two Bucks
  • Amy Winehouse has been sober for 3 years!
  • Hillary can't win because Barbara says "no more Bush in office" 
  • He-Man Woman Haters Club
  • Vladimir Putin's totally-not-gay-manly-horse-riding-shirtless-photo-shoot
  • Washington and Colorado in the "Super-Bowl"

Vino 100
  • Would You Like To Eat My Cupcake? 
  • Justin Bieber's Attorney's New Ferrari
  • Bieber Drops The Soap
  • In Prison He's Justine Bieber 
  • Chris Christie's Detours

Whiskey Bar
  • Bieber Would Be Screwed If Columbo Was Still Alive
  • Fuck The Polar Vortex
  • This Losing Score Brought To You By Jameson 
  • I Don't Like Sloopy Seconds, But I'll Take What I Can Get
  • My Canadian Boyfriend Is #1 On The Forbes Fictional 15 
  • Chris Christie's Traffic Directors
  • I'd Climb That Like A Tree
  • The Snow Blows Like Your Mom
  • Christie Wouldn't Have Closed A Bridge To Dunkin Doughnuts

Quizmaster - William Spurway

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Follow Spurway on Twitter...

William Matthew Spurway was born in the southwest of England in Cider County Somerset. He graduated from Richard Huish College in 2010 where he was fortunate enough to be offered a soccer scholarship at Cardinal Stritch University.

Will is heavily into his sports with his main passion is being involved in soccer and the English game of cricket. Will is currently doing his Bachelors degree in Business Administration and Management whilst playing soccer at Stritch.

In his spare time he likes to socialize, eat and of course have a few cheeky drinks from time to time.

Will's favorite drink has to be Cider with a dash of blackcurrant - a staple drink in his part of the world. However he is starting to come around to the American Beer and even the sports where he has even started to follow the Packers and the Brewers.

Things Will hates: Losing, gossip and being unsociable

Things Will loves: All sports, Winning, Meeting new people, Drinking, Tut Lads, and FIFA.

Quizmaster in brief...

Name...Will or "Spurway"
Birthplace...Taunton, Somerset, England
Find him at...McGillycuddy's
He's drinking...Strongbow or Miller Lite
Catchphrase...“You got more chance of fingering the queen!!”
Fave quiz round...Music, Film and Tele
Fave bonus round...Useless Knowledge
Sports teams...Tottenham Hotspur, Somerset Sabres, Packers, Brewers
Tele shows...The Apprentice, Inbetweeners
On the iPod...Indie Rock, Two Door Cinema Club and Ed Sheeran

Talking the talk, and walking the walk… our Walking Dead quiz recap!

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The Walkers were out in full force at Jack's American Pub this past Sunday night for our Dead Man Quizzin': The Walking Dead quiz!!!


And that was the picture sheet from the event, in case you missed it!

In the end 13 teams converged on Brady Street's Jack's American Pub for the chance to take home some prizes and be crowned the last man standing: Walking Dead quiz kings.

In the end though it was the unlikely trio of 112 Ounces of Pudding that put up the tally of 60 (from 65 points) to claim the crown


Congrats to them!

And we had some great team names too, although Caaaaaahhhhhrrrrllll was deemed the winner from the onlooking crowd when team name were read.

Great times, look out for the Game of Thrones quiz on March 30th!

Until next time Milwaukee, drink while you think...

Sunday March 2nd, 2014 scores:


  1. 60 112 Ounces of Pudding 
  2. 57 My ex-girlfriend moaned more than these zombies
  3. 57 Will Daryl and Carol just fuck already? 
  4. 53 Our Governor is a Walker!
  5. 52 Sophia's farmhouse riot
  6. 50 Ouch! Charlie bit me
  7. 50 I Woodbury Hershel's amputated leg up Lori's vagina
  8. 48 I fucking hate Carl!
  9. 48 I want to eat you brain... and your ass (Zac and Miri quote)
  10. 44 Caaaaaahhhhhrrrrllll
  11. 35"Stuff... things"
  12. 31 A necrophilia's aphrodisiac
  13. 30 I understand Zombie better than I understand British

You Quiz Or You Die... the Game of Thrones Quiz is March 30th!

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As Tyrion said, "It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it, if it were easy." Well, our intuition at Quizmaster tells us that our quiz peeps will not have a problem getting a few drinks in them at the Game of Thrones Quiz on Sunday March 30th, 2014!


You Quiz Or You Die, as it's been dubbed, will be our latest specially-themed event for our Game of Thrones fans. Taking place at the new Milwaukee Beer Bistro, the events comes ahead of the new Games of Thrones season which debuts on April 17th, 2014.

Again this event will start at the earlier time of 5:30 p.m., with a regular duration of about two hours. The event will follow the standard Quizmaster format of six rounds (five questions per-round), but of course, it will all be GOT trivia!

The entry fee will be $5/person, due on the night. There is no need to RSVP but teams are advised to arrive a little early to grab a good seat!

Best Team Names of the Month - February 2014!

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Antonio's Sports Bar

  • Morning wood is a terrible thing to waste
  • Crouching girl hidden cucumber 
  • Women OIympic Stars…Hah! Oh wait, there’s no such thing 2nd Place
  • Costas has more pink in his eye than Victoria has in her panties


Brass Monkey

  • Sarah Palin Can See The Olympics From Her House
  • Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Back 
  • You're Going Down Syndrome 
  • Scissor Me Timbers
  • Hey Look! We Lost Again.


Cafe Centraal

  • Madest Thou Look; Thus Endeth The Trick
  • Fuck Winter
  • Quizlamic Jihad
  • Casey Anthony Has Some Junk In Her Trunk (Too Soon)


Cafe Hollander

  • Egon But Not Forgotten
  • Who Ya Gonna Call? Not Harold Ramis
  • I Play Soccer With The Quizmaster And He Hasn't Even Acknowledged Me 
  • Thom Selleck's Mustache Ride 
  • If This Quiz Was Curling, I Bet You Couldn't Handle These Stones
  • Olympic Puns Are Sochi-Z! 
  • Phillip See-More Angels 
  • I Put A Pube In Your Drink
  • Last Time A Bronco Had A Good Drive, OJ Was Behind The Wheel


Caffrey's Pub

  • We got 99 problems, and apparently trivia is one.
  • Chris Hanson is a cock block
  • Lift your coat and touch your toes, I'll show you where the wild goose goes
  • My mom is a milfwacky waving inflatable flailing arm tube team
  • My grandpa plays the accordion


Camp Bar

  • Garage (rhymes w/ carriage)
  • Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? A: Christopher Walken
  • If you poo in a cave, would it be called a spelunker? 
  • Russia may have more medals, but we have less Russians.
  • Bob Costas Pink Eye
  • Putin's Left Nut
  • Django and the Broncos have something in common.... the silent "D"
  • Would you rather have David Carradine in your closet or Joe Namath's Super Bowl coat?
  • Monicas real position was on her knee's


Club Garibaldi

  • Unlike grade school I didn't wet my pants during the test
  • Excuse me while I shuttle my cock


Fixture Brewing Company

  • Anne Frank's Hide and Seek Club
  • Don't Cross The Streams! RIP Harold Ramis 
  • I'm Not Gay, But $2 is $2 
  • Your Mom Has The Whitest Teeth I've Ever Cum Across
  • Cupid is TOTALLY a midget 
  • The Rob Ford Fan Club
  • A Big Bag Of Dicks, For The Win! 
  • I've Got 99 Problems And Trivia Ain't One
  • It's Not Rape If You Yell Surprise


The Hotch Spot

  • We like our team how we like our cookies..... GIANT and warm!
  • But you ain't got no legs lieutenant Dan
  • Irish you were naked 
  • This microphone looks suspiciously like a penis 
  • If it was easy it would be called your Mom!


The Highbury


Jack's American Pub

  • Putins's Pistols
  • Danny and the Dick Fucks
  • Fo' Shizzle my Quizzle
  • Phillip Seymore Hoffman's "other" hobby
  • He called the shit poo!


Loaded Slate

  • Perforated Condoms
  • Condoms and Rattle Snakes: 2 Things I Don't Fuck With
  • Phillip Seymour Hoffman and the Ace of Spade Club 
  • John Wilkes Booth &the Showstoppers 
  • Anal, the Only Safe Way to Have Sex 
  • Phillip-SeeNoMore-Hoffman
  • If a Muppet Gives You a Blow Job, is it Also a Hand Job?


McGillycuddy's

  • I'm Not From Egypt, But This Dick Israel 
  • All the Ladies Dig My Mammoth Bone
  • Boys Have A Penis and Girls Have A Vagina 
  • High Drag Projectile: For Her Pleasure
  • I'm not a weatherman, but your mom can expect the same forecast. 4-5 inches.
  • Shit hasn't hit the fan, but the turd is definitely clipping the blades.


Miller Time Pub

  • We Are Cool for Coolidge and Hard for Harding
  • My couch pulls out, but I don't! 
  • Monica Lewinsky - Head Intern


Milwaukee Beer Bistro

  • Rocky Balboa Picture Show
  • A futon pulls out... but I don't
  • First the quizzes, Then the Bitches
  • The Herbie Hancock's


Milwaukee Brat House

  • Albuquerque - you can get high in more ways than one!
  • I think my drinking team has a trivia problem
  • A horse named Sarah Jessica Parker
  • Saber Tooth Blow Job
  • Sure, you can pet my baby puss!
  • Pen15 Club
  • Oops, I schlitzed my pants
  • I have more periods than commas
  • Vanessa's virginal cloister of good times
  • Phillip Seymour Hoffman may have won an Oscar... but Chris Farley did it better!


Mulligans Irish Pub

  • #SochiFail 
  • Gettin' Quizzie with it
  • I like Putin dicks in my butt!


New Berlin Ale House

  • Not Tonight Babe, I Quizzed Earlier..
  • If Jesus Was Jewish, Why Does He Have A Mexican Name?
  • We'll Take Your Calvins, Marky Mark 
  • May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor... Unlike Philip Seymore Hoffman


O'Lydias

  • Polar Vortex, more like polar bore-tex! Got any more brain busters?
  • I just met you and this is crazy, but here's my number, so QWHEEL me!? Maybe?
  • Gingers have NO souls!!
  • Next time I'm coming in my short shorts 
  • Taj Mahal? More like touch my balls!


Red Rock Saloon

  • She smokes 15 joints a day? No wonder she picks those outfits
  • Cadbury creme in my pants
  • The only thing worse than the weather is a tall, cool Budweiser Select 55
  • I hope Bieber has the same dealer as Phillip Seymour Hoffman


Riverwest Filling Station

  • 21 Stream Salute for Egon 
  • Wonder If Costas Will Be Taking the Red-eye from Sochi?
  • Michael Sam For Russian Prime Minister 
  • We Thought Shirley Temple Was Already Dead
  • Putin Prefers Shuttle Cock with Luge


St. Francis Brewery

  • Gives New Meaning To the Term "Giving Them 'the Business'"! 
  •  Rumpled Foreskin
  • Bruce Jenner's Adam's Apple
  • I Really Hope to Give a Valentine, But It's Hard Daredevil's Dick Wasn't Blind
  • "Sochi" My "D", Putin!


Titletown Brewing Co.

  • Philip should have "seen more" Rehab 
  • Catching Fire like Richard Pryor 
  •  Seattle and Seymour Higher than a Kite


Three Lions Pub

  • Masturbation is 1% inspiration, 99% persperation
  • My computer tells me my password is too short, but I say 'Penis' is long enough 
  • If someone taking a quiz is a quizacle then what is someone taking a test?
  • If Phillip Seymour hoffman did any more ice, he would have been competing at Sochi
  • There's more to life than being really really, ridiculously good looking, and I plan on finding out what it is 
  • How does Darth Vader like his marshmallows? - A little on the dark side
  • What do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks? A Fungi to hang out with!


Two Bucks

  • The Ukranian Mail Order Brides
  • I before e except after foreskin
  • Here's my number, so fuck me maybe
  • Three out of four Ghostbusters ain't bad 
  • I'll "Point" my "Fat Squirrel" at your "Red Stripe" and "Pullchain" 
  • The 1973 Iranian Revolution (give or take a year)"
  • She'll eat your heart out like Jefferey Dahmer"
  • E = Mc Hammer
  • The Empire Strokes Back
  • "The Seahawks will only win a Super Bowl over my dead body" - Phillip Seymour Hoffman
  • Drinking Team with a Trivia Problem


Whiskey Bar

  • From Stripes: "Are You Two gay-homosexuals?""No, but we Could Be If You Want Us To Be."
  • Egon...But Not Forgotten
  • There was no opening ceremony malfunction; the 5th olympic ring represents Putin's nervous buttonhole
  • Breaking Quizckly Bad
  • Philip Seymour Hoffman Died Preparing For His Next Role...Toronto Mayor Rob Ford 
  • Moneyball 2: Philip Seymour Hoffman Takes His Last Hit

Darth Bauer! Star Wars and 24 Themed Quizzes just announced!

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The upcoming month is going to be a busy one for the Quizmaster research laboratory as we've just announced that we will be hosting two more specially themed quizzes in the approaching weeks.

First up, on Sunday April 27th (from 7-9 p.m.), we'll be hosting The 24 Quiz, covering all 8 seasons of the enthralling espionage show, ahead of its new series premiere on Sunday May 5th…


We will revisit theThree Lions Pub in Shorewood for this event, having previously hosted our Breaking Bad and Anchorman themed events there in 2013. Again the event will be $5/person, and we advise queeps to arrive a little early to grab a good spot!


The Quizmaster Strikes Back...
Switching over to intergalactic quizzing, our other planned quiz, The Star Wars Trivia Event that's being dubbed "the Quizmaster Strikes Back", will take place just one week after our 24 quiz. Sunday May the Fourth (7-9 p.m.), which naturally is Star Wars Day, seemed like a no brainer for this event, with Jack's American Pubon Brady Street being our host for the night…


Again, a $5/person entry fee will be required from all droids and Jedi's alike. Early arrivals are encouraged once more.

Any suggestions for more specially-themed quiz topics, hit up in the comments section below, on Facebook or email. We're always looking for new ideas folks!

Any man who must say "I am the Quizmaster" is no true Quizmaster…. Our Game of Thrones quiz recap!

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You Quiz or You Die was the ultimatum at the Milwaukee Beer Bistro this past Sunday night, as our Game of Thrones nerds came out in full force to see who was the true king of the seven kingdoms!

Among 21 teams --- almost 100 queeps --- there could only be one winner. Having quizzed RiverWesteros' finest on everything from quotes to characters to Lannisters, after a 75-point haul, the tally of 72 from Melisandre's Vagina Shadow was just enough to see them seize the iron throne...


They got their Clegane's mixed up at one point but mustered the gold medal. In modified words of the Hound, "if anyone quizzes with an empty class, I'll rape their f***in corpse.

Touché Mr. Hound.

Just two points back on 70 were the foursome from If Hot Pie dies, we RIOT! who were even rocking their own House of Stark attire...


Excellent job gang!

Now to the important stuff.

Of course, we love to ALWAYS give a prize for best team name at all our quiz events, and naturally Game of Thrones-inspired names were encouraged this time around. And boy, did we have some crackers among the 21 teams. Some honorable mentions included…

  • Joffrey's more inbred than a sandwich
  • Incest is the best, put your sister to the test
  • Riverwesteros Missed Connections
  • The Red Quiz (we've already poisoned 3 people in the room)

But ultimately it was third-place finishing Walder Frey Wedding Planner LLC, prices so low you will flatline that got the crowd and Quizmaster vote, walking out with the "people's prize"...


Also, the Lannisters send their regards.

And finally, because we're not biased (and because this post wouldn't be the same without mentioning it) team Theon's cock in a box had to get a shout out, despite finishing in 21st place...


They put on their "sad faces" for the camera, but great to see them out in full force again.

Great times as always. Watch out for the 24 and Star Wars Themed quizzes coming up in the next few weeks!

Until next time Milwaukee, drink while you think…

Sunday March 30th, 2014 Game of Thrones Quiz scores:


  1. 72 Melisandre's Vagina Shadow
  2. 70 If Hot Pie dies, we RIOT!
  3. 69 Walder Frey Wedding Planner LLC, prices so low you will flatline
  4. 69 3 Westerbros and a Winterfella
  5. 68 The Red Quiz (we've already poisoned 3 people in the room)
  6. 66 A song of natty ice and Fireball
  7. 66 Theon's detachable penis!
  8. 66 Brains of castamere
  9. 66 Hodor, Hodor… Hodor?
  10. 65 I've got 99 problems but a Barantheon ain't one
  11. 65 The Camel Cunts
  12. 64 The Drunkenwolves
  13. 63 Riverwesteros Missed Connections
  14. 61 The Bastard of "DD" Bolt-ons
  15. 60 One does not simply walk into a Hodor with Khaleesi on their face
  16. 60 Hodor Hodor Hodor
  17. 58 Incest is the best, put your sister to the test
  18. 57 5 o'clock vagina shadow monster
  19. 57 Stick 'em with the pointy end!!!
  20. 53 Joffrey's more inbred than a sandwich
  21. 48 Theon's cock in a box

Best pub quiz names of the month! March 2014...

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Brass Monkey
  • The Audio always works @St. Francis Brewery 
  • All hail our British Overlords
  • My girlfriend is drinking for two
  • Hosting Trivia Would Be Much More Fun if the Teams Weren't So Retarted
  • So, When Are the Olsen Twins Gonna Make A Sex Tape?
  • Michael Jackson has a Popular Last Name
  • Gangbangs of New York
  • BezzerWizzer is NOT Popular

Cafe Centraal
  • So...Katy Perry Kinda Sucks
  • The Osama Bin Llamas
  • Putin, Ukrain't Sit With Us!
  • Stick 'em With The Pointy End

Cafe Hollander
  • Serrated Condoms: Barbed For Nobody's Pleasure 
  • Malaysian Bunnies Lost At Sea
  • Crimea River
  • I Usually Don't Cum, But I like Quizzing With A Group
  • Irish I Had A Better Team Name
  • Make It (UK)rain 
  • Arm Fisting: An Offer Putin Can't Refuse
  • Hollister: For Ages 14 - 18 . . . Unless You're Fat
  • Morgan I Wish There Beers Were Freeman
  • Giving Up Losing Trivia For Lent: See You In 40 Days
  • Quiz On My Face And Tell Me You Love Me

Caffrey's Pub
  • Are You Irish? Cuz My Penis is Dublin
  • The Plastered Potatoes
  • Irish People Were Drunker so We'd Win
  • My most important midterm is trivia

Camp Bar
  • The Rough Riders saw action in my bedroom
  • Harry and the Hendersons makes Citizen Kane look like House Party 2
  • Titanic Swim Team
  • It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits
  • How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None. 
  • Never iron a 4 leaf clover, you don't want to press your luck
  • Four Queef Clovers
  • 3 Girls, One Gay, No Cup
  • In England the Miley Cyrus tour is called Bangerz + Mash 
  • Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his Dad! Happy 74th Big Guy!
  • Wanna hear a bad joke about Potassium? ... K
  • Two things I don't fuck with: Rattlesnakes and Condoms
  • The center for kids who can't read good, and Hellen Keller

Club Garibaldi
  • I crashed this plane into the Indian Ocean and all I got were these lousy conspiracy theories
  • LGBT: One letter short of Bingo
  • We are sofa king stew pit.

Fixture Brewing Company
  • Anal Bleaching: It's Not Just For The Cool Kids Anymore
  • Blowin' More Than A BP Pipeline 
  • Barbie Never Gets Pregnant Because Ken Cums In A Different Box
  • What Do Planes and Women Have In Common? They Both Have Cock Pits!
  • My Dick Just Died. Can I Bury It In Your Vagina?
  • On A Scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, How Much Do You Love Children?
  • Everything Is Made in China. Except for Babies. They are Made In VaChina 
  • No Means Yes, Yes Means Anal
  • You Know You Have A High Sperm Count When She Has To Chew Before Swallowing
  • Cunning Stunts

The Hotch Spot
  • "The Best Team Since Sliced Bread"
  • Hank Aaron Seal'd my Octopussy
  • I have fuzzy orange balls, too

The Highbury
  • Doesn't a little part of you wish you were on Flight 370...I wish you were.
  • The next LOST spin-off TV show is rumored to include a Malay plane
  • Knock, knock. Who's There? Go Fuck Yourself!
  • More fun than a screendoor on a submarine 
  • Malaysia Airlines 370 stopped for Cluck's Chicken
  • You Know It's Been a Long Winter When the Cold War Starts Again

Jack's American Pub
  • Woke up to a snow job
  • Jeffrey Dahmer's homemade casserole
  • Those Malaysian planes sure are good at hide and seek 
  • I wish this place was extra Crisp Pizza now
  • I'd rather kill myself too if I was alone in space with Sandra Bullock 
  • I'll do anything for a dollar
  • Jeffrey Dahmers Homemade Lampshade
  • Ukraine in the Membrane 
  • Putin my Ass
  • Fo Shizzle, mah Quizzle!
  • We Googled this Team Name

Loaded Slate

  • What's the Difference Between a Ferrari and a Boner?
  • Moose Knuckles
  • Condoms and Rattlesnakes - Things to big for my dick 
  • I tried using PENIS as my password, but was told it was to short


McGillycuddy's

  • Lesbian Barbie comes in her own box
  • Crimea River
  • Question 31? Whats my Accent?
  • It's a good night to be hard
  • Sister Act 3: Catholic School Rejects


Miller Time Pub 

  • Hoosier Daddy's
  • Potat-HOES
  • Unfortunate Sex Fart


Milwaukee Beer Bistro

  • Great Barrier Queefs 
  • Canoe grabbing balls from McCovey Cove
  • I have Candy and a Van 
  • Is there really a difference between Alligators and Crocodiles
  • The Roast Beef Chronicles - A Tale Between Two Legs
  • Average Joe's Wrench Dodgers
  • I don't always think while I drink... but when I do we win $30 
  • I though people from Ohio were just called "poor"


Milwaukee Brat House

  • Breakfast in bed, sex in the kitchen
  • There's a Ukrainian Uprising… in my pants!
  • Ellen loves the red carpet!


Mulligans Irish Pub

  • Band of Unicorns
  • Gettin' Quizzie with it


New Berlin Ale House

  • We Are More Confused About This Quiz Than CNN Is About That Plane :-(
  • Dude Where's My Plane
  • Somebody Might Love Boris Yeltzen But Nobody Loves Geoffrey And His Small Balls 
  • Ma, The Meatloaf!! Fuck!!
  • What Pizza Place Do You Deliver For And How Do We Recommend You?
  • Hermaphrodite Barbie Comes In Her Own Box
  • Quit Stalin With Ukraine-ium, Putin The Answer Already
  • Fist Is Also A Verb: That's What She Said
  • I'll Snooker All Over Your Blue Balls


O'Lydias

  • Derelick my balls Capitain
  • That Shit Don't Fly ... Just Ask Malaysia
  • Tripple Exxon Vin Diesels 
  • How can we expect men to find Flight MH370 when they can't even find the clitoris? 
  • Define Statutory
  • Lets make like a baby and head out
  • Alright, Alright, Alright
  • Our wings disappeared faster than a Malaysian Airliner! 
  • Malaysian? You mean there's another kind of Asian? 
  • Irish there was some f'n Guinness in the bar
  • The Quizmaster's girlfriend is inflatable
  • Insane in the Ukraine 
  • More like Genitals Quarterly
  • Who you gonna call? Not Egon.. Too soon?


Red Rock Saloon

  • Hopefully the Malaysian airplane story will have better ending than LOST
  • The worst thing I've done in 2014 is Google the lyrics to Achy Breaky Heart, thanks Quizmaster 
  • Love Muscle
  • Pistorius' defense didn't have a leg to stand on
  • Shaving Ryan's Privates 
  • You can't spell Darren Sharper with Raper
  • Your mother has the whitest smile I've ever seen!


Riverwest Filling Station

  • If you want to kill a circus... Go for the juggler. 
  • Putin Out Victory
  • Flight 370 AKA Lost
  • Please stop the bus so I can let my brother Jack off
  • We stopped thinking and kept drinking 
  • Vladamir Putin's Gay Brothel
  • These are not the droids you're looking for


St. Francis Brewery

  • Found Waldo Before the Malaysian Plane! 
  • This Would Be So Much Easier if I Was Robocop
  • Sure Going to Regret Those Nachos in the Morning! 
  • Tara Reid's Left Boob


Titletown Brewing Co.

  • Putin on the blitz 
  • On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you like kids
  • Leonardo Dicaprio + the infinite sadness 
  • Don't McConnahate the playa, McConnahate the game 
  • If Ukraine your neck-you can see the Russians from here!


Two Bucks

  • There will only be 7 planets after we destroy Uranus
  • Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver
  • Buzz Williams' career is located on Malaysia Flight 370
  • Our Team is Sexier than Putin's Nipples
  • Sex on an elevator is wrong on so many levels
  • Witty Pun Containing a bit about current news
  • Are you from Ireland? Because my penis is Dublin.
  • O' Crimea River
  • A seal walked into a club… 
  • How long does it take to get from Malaysia to Beijing? Too soon. 
  • Doctor Who's Least Favorite Stepchildren
  • Russia and Ukraine 4eva Crimea River!
  • Obama's big black caucas


Whiskey Bar

  • I Didn't Recognize Rihanna Without A Black Eye
  • Warren Buffet Offers $1 Billion For A Perfect Bracket, $0 for finding flight #370 - 'Murica!!
  • All Our Best Team Names Got Lost On Malaysia #370, except for Total Eclipse of the Shart 
  • Like Forrest Gump, Jenny Fucked Us
  • Russia Penetrated Ukraine's Southern Border with an iron fisting...Crimea River!
  • Adele Dazeem Is John Travolta's Imaginary Girlfriend
  • I Eat Placenta For Fat Tuesday

April 2014's Best Pub Quiz Names...

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http://instagram.com/highburymke

Brass Monkey
  • Who Needs Condoms? We Pull 'n' Pray 
  • We Were Doing Good, Until Question 1
  • The Winning Team are all a Bunch of Fucking Cheaters
  • We're Proof that Birth Control Doesn't Always Work
  • So My Girlfriend is Pregnant, Guess I Got a Sober Driver for 9 Months
  • Who Gives A Shit About Delaware?

Cafe Centraal
  • Hide Ya Quiz, Hide Ya Wife
  • Viber? I Barely Knew Her 
  • I Cummerbund Your Momma Last Night - Tasty
  • We Love Weezer More Than You
  • NSA Wireless Intercept Team 052 (The Guy At The Bar Is Surfing Beastie Porn)
  • Our Teammates Got Engaged and We Found Out on FACEBOOK!
  • Quizlamic Jihad

Cafe Hollander
  • Your Body Is A Wonderland By Jerry Sandusky
  • I Finish In 10 Seconds
  • A Bottle Of Scotch And A Porno. BOOM, Good Friday! 
  • Ohio State Is the Worst State
  • Putin On The Ritz 
  • Harry Twatter and The Crotch Of Fire 
  • Hairy Pooter And The Chamber Of Secretions
  • Betty White - 50 Shades Of Grey 
  • Bush When God Gives You AIDS Make Lemonade
  • A Lannister Always Pays His Tabs (PS - Joffery Is Dead!) 
  • I Just Purchased A Commemorative Cell Phone Cover For The Basketball Tournament: The Final Four Skin 
  • Kohl's: Expect Layoffs 
  • I Gave Justin Bieber Herpes

Caffrey's Pub
  • I wish this microphone was a penis
  • Born in the bathroom, still the shit
  • I don't do cocaine, I just like the smell of it
  • My beaver needs some wood
  • Our chances of winning are worse than Terri Schiavos

Camp Bar
  • Mothers Have Mother's Day, Fathers Have Father's Day. What Do Single Men Have? Palm Sunday.
  • Single Ladies (Put A Cock Ring On It)
  • Damn You Hans Zimmer, and Your Dramatic, Recycled Themes!
  • Put Pinot Grigio In My I.V.
  • Know the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your cock down someone's throat
  • The difference between a priest and a Silver Mefalist? They both come in a little behind.
  • Bondage + Sadism: 50 Shades of Regis Philbin
  • There is nothing I like more than quiz on my face
  • Better Bond Villain: Ernst Stavro Blofeld or Vladimir Putin
  • I thought this was speed dating....
  • I wish this microphone was George Michaels trouser snake

Club Garibaldi
  • Dirty Usually Wins (Balls)
  • The Brewers Fight Better Than Ukrainians Over Bases 
  • It's too bad Pestoris missed out for the Olympic sport of Biathlon because he could not ski
  • My goal tomorrow is to get up early and work out
  • As certain as death, taxes and painful anal sex
  • I crashed this plane into the Indian Ocean and all I got were these lousy conspiracy theories

Fixture Brewing Company
  • Ever Had Ethiopian Cuisine? Neither Have They (Cause They're Starving)
  • That Awkward Moment When You Realize The Beatles Were The "One Direction" Of Our Parent's Generation
  • I'm Not Getting Jiggy With It. I have Parkinson's. 
  • There's Intelligent DNA In Every Woman. Unfortunately, Most Of Them Spit It Out 
  • A COCKwork Orange
  • If April Showers Bring Mayflowers, What do Mayflowers bring?.............Pilgrims! 
  • Do You Draw? Because I Put The D In Raw
  • Yo Mama So Fat, Her Shirt Size Has More X's Than Taylor Swift
  • Kristin Makes Out With Her Dog More Than Her Boyfriend

Fox River House
  • They're Real and Spectacular
  • This is an open invitation to all bar patrons to a continuation of Jared’s birthday celebration at the Fox River House’s glory hole
  • Colonel Sander's buckets are more impressive than the Wild Cats

The Hotch Spot
  • Cheezy, Breezy, Beautiful Pizza Girl(s)
  • Imma make you quiz
  • Can I smell that one last time

The Highbury
  • You are either Phosphorous or Against us
  • Mister Pfister
  • Fuck You and Your "Metro Area"
  • I thought Blade Runners only killed Replicants

Jack's American Pub
  • Don Sterling's black girlfriends
  • Donald Sterling wouldn't be banned from the NBA if he loved blacks guys as much as Khloe Kardashian does
  • The Middle East is in tension right now
  • I though the LA Clippers were a barber shop quartet
  • Relationship Status: I have BBQ stains on my underwear
  • Sterling, Clippers, Draper: SCD
  • Sit on my Facebook
  • Relationship Status: I use medicated shampoo 
  • Jeffrey Dahmer's Homemade Puppet Show
  • Relationship status: currently eating an entire bag of string cheese
  • Glad I took flight number #369

Loaded Slate
  • My Girlfriend Says I'm a Pedophile, I say "that's a big word for a 3-year-old" 
  • Clity Clity Gang Bang
  • Why Does it Smell Like Tacos in Here???
  • Snapchat Regrets and Butterfly Kisses
  • I'm the Type of Guy to Fart in the Toilet and Then Flush It

McGillycuddy's
  • Coat Hangers... Really Bring out the Kid in You
  • We Brought Black People, Fuck Donald Sterling 
  • Never Trust an Atom. They Make Up Everything 
  • My Drinking Team Have Trivia Problem
  • I Had a Joke About Unemployed People, But it Didn't Work
  • Wednesdays with no rain are dry hump days 
  • Lost my voice sucking too much dick

Miller Time Pub
  • The Quizzonarts
  • The Vageniuses
  • #Final Four Trivia Kings

Milwaukee Beer Bistro
  • Winston's Crablegs
  • I want to lick your "Nepal"
  • Cunning Linguists
  • Joffrey's Cup Bearer
  • The Magical Quizzards and the Quizstery Machine
  • Cheetahs Never Prosper
  • Beer: Ba da bop ba dah - I'm Chuggin' it (McDonald's Style)
  • Tiffany "Amber Alert" Thiessen
  • I'm Into Butt Stuff

Milwaukee Brat House
  • Jameis Winston has crabs
  • I want to make a joke about the guy who died in Red Arrow Park but I think it's too soon
  • Pfister? Hardly knew her…
  • I Gotta Take A Schlitz
  • My girlfriend can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Can your Dyson?
  • Bang-hers and mash
  • Ray Charles wouldn't even tap that 
  • I use antlers in all of my masturbating

Mulligans Irish Pub
  • Time to Retire
  • One Direction
  • Band of Unicorns

New Berlin Ale House
  • Wow This Quiz Gave Us A Beating: It Might As Well Be Called Paul Simon... Allegedly
  • A What Plug In My Whathole? 
  • Lick-n-lot-apus Vs. Mega-saur-ass
  • We Are More Confused About This Quiz Than CNN Is About That Plane :-(
  • Dude Where's My Plane

O'Lydias
  • "Anything can be used as a dildo if you're brave ENUF" - Abraham Lincoln
  • A tooney for some poonie?? 
  • The Worst Trivia Team Here Tonight
  • What? We couldn't hear you. The table next to us was too loud
  • Gwenyth Paltrow should consciously uncouple her way into oncoming traffic
  • Are the questions harder this week, or are you just happy to see me?
  • My Pussy's Named Khalessi
  • That Shit Don't Fly ... Just Ask Malaysia

Red Rock Saloon

  • The movie 127 Hours would have taken place over a much longer time had it been his dick trapped, not his hand
  • Why did the cement get hard… it's that asphalt!
  • It doesn't matter what time it starts, SNL hasn't been funny since 1994
  • John Rule is Jeremy's Favorite Rapper
  • There are only two of us, but we'll still pick up more points than David Moyes this season
  • Right Hand Pimp Slap


Riverwest Filling Station

  • Miller Genuine Giraffe
  • You can't spell IndonAsia without ASIA! 
  • The 14 yr olds who graduated college and are now drinking beer at the bar
  • Pretty sure we lost again #betterlucknextweek


St. Francis Brewery

  • So I Hear Paula Deen is Buying the Clippers
  • The GIF That Keeps on Giffing.
  • We're Proof That Birth Control Doesn't Always Work 
  • Premature Quizzers
  • So Old We Lived Trivia
  • The 5 Who Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest 
  • Having Sex On an Elevator is Wrong On So Many Levels
  • Beer Makes Smart


Titletown Brewing Co.

  • Nothing's certain but trivia and taxes
  • Playing Trivia is so Taxing 
  • Your Palindrome of the day: go hang a salami. I'm a lasagna hog. 
  • Railroad Gosling


Two Bucks

  • Rumple Foreskin 
  • I want some milk, so give me some tithes! Nom Nom Nom
  • The flu will fix Donald Sterling's racism
  • Korean Sea Captain Union
  • Blackhawks are people, not birds
  • Surely you can't be serious. I am serious, and don't call me Shirley
  • Go Home April, You're Drunk
  • I Astor if she wanted me to Pfister…
  • Amanda Huggenkiss
  • We Poisoned Joffrey
  • Two guys, a girl, and a moderately below average quiz score
  • Usually, I like to be wined and dined before I get Kentuckyed
  • Your Fist is on My List 
  • I got hit by a car last friday, did anyone get a license plate?


Whiskey Bar

  • Why Did I Break Up With Her? She Had Man Hands!
  • Put Clippers Owner Sterling In South Central LA and Let Him Find His Way Home
  • Fuck Sports
  • The Al Goregasms
  • I Was Going To Plant a Tree For Earth Day, But I Smoked A Plant and Forgot 
  • Down Goes The Titanic, Just Like The Malaysian Flight
  • Guess How Many Fucks I Give?

Have a drink… the Mad Men Quiz is Sunday May 25th! Costume Contest to feature!

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In honor of Donald Draper and his lust for all things alcoholic and feminine, we bring you the Mad Men Quiz later this month!


The mid-season finale of the show airs during Memorial Day weekend on AMC on Sunday May 25th at 9 p.m. and we're hosting our Mad Men quiz event that night from 6-8 p.m.

Downtown Milwaukee's Miller Time Pub (map) will be our host for the night and they will also be encouraging teams to dress up in their slickest 1960s attire for the Costume party with a $100 Gift Card to Mason Street Grill for guest with the best outfit!! Team prizes for first, second and the best Mad Men team name will also feature.

Drink specials for the night will include…
  • $2.50 domestic drafts 
  • $4 craft drafts 
  • $5 tall Soco mixers 
  • $5 Tom Collins 
  • $5 Side Cars 
  • $5 White Russians
As with previous specially themed Quizmaster events, the Mad Men Quiz will be $5/person with proceeds going to a charity of the winning team's choice! There will not be any pre-registration but arrive with your team a little early, as you know these themed events fill up fast!

May the Fourth Be With You… Our Star Wars Quiz Recap!

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A few days ago in a pub not that far, far away, a period of quizzing unrest saw 29 quiz teams unite for a chance to rise up and take a victory from the galactic Quizmaster.

Yes, this past Sunday was May the fourth, and that could only mean one thing: Star Wars trivia at Jack's American Pub.

As we mentioned already, 29 teams converged on the Brady Street pub in what was Quizmaster's largest specially-themed quiz to date!

And to prove that this crowd was a die-hard as they come, some were even sporting Star Wars ink...




We told you they were a serious bunch.

Others, who were quite so dedicated still showed some love via their baking talents...


…or dressing up as one of their fave characters...


We vote for bikini-clad Princess Leia next time!!!

Although we ran out of answer sheets, once everyone was in place the quiz got underway with 30 Star Wars themed and thought provoking questions.

In the end, it was Quizmaster veterans Ewokalypse Now who racked up 70 points (from a possible 75), which was just enough to seal the win...


Apparently they weren't surprised at all that they won, even if the margin of victory was nail biting. They also selected the Huntington's Disease Society of America (HDSA) as the charity of their choice for the money raised on the night. BRAVO gang!

Second place was garbage-compacting close, as we had a tie from two teams on 69 points. Inglorious Blasters and Darth Maulers Shot Callers were tractor-beamed into a sudden death star round, each asked the diameter of the second (much larger) death star to determine the winner.

The closer answer would take the prize, which happened to be Inglorious Blasters answer of 960 miles...


Hey, they also dressed up, so you've gotta give them credit. The correct answer was 559 miles (or 900 km).

As always, we were awarding a small prize to the best Star Wars team name, and as expected their were some real crackers, including...


  • Looking for love in Alderaan places
  • What do Star Wars and Alabama have in common? It's okay to kiss your sister
  • I'll take a Qui-Gon Gin and Tonic
  • Han shot first, Leia came second


But in the end, based on crowd reaction and the timeliness of their name, team Jar Jar wanted to go to the pod race but Donald Sterling doesn't allow Gunguns got the vote...


They "spake" the truth. Well done gents.

Given the success of the event, we plan on reuniting Milwaukee's Star Wars geeks annually on May the  fourth, so we'll see you all next year! We just have two requests: more tattoos and sugar-coated dark side cookies please.

And watch out for the Mad Men quiz on May 25th!

Until next year Milwaukee, drink while you think...

Sunday May 4th, 2014 scores:


  1. 70 Ewokalypse Now
  2. 69 Inglorious Blasters
  3. 69 Darth Maulers Shot Callers
  4. 68 Alderaan Answers
  5. 67 Episode VII Act I: Jar Jar Binks falls off cliff onto a knife in the head and rolls off the sail barge into Sarlacc 36 times
  6. 66 Dead Ewok Society
  7. 65 Darth Vader's robotic dick brought me to the dark side
  8. 63 Looking for love in Alderaan places
  9. 63 Lando's smooth mutha-fuckas
  10. 61 The odds of us winning this are 3720 to 1
  11. 61 What do Star Wars and Alabama have in common? It's okay to kiss your sister
  12. 60 I'll take a Qui-Gon Gin and Tonic
  13. 59 Not so scruffy looking nerd herders
  14. 59 Alderaan Memorial Team
  15. 59 Jedi in the streets, sith in the sheets
  16. 59 Jar Jar wanted to go to the pod race but Donald Sterling doesn't allow Gunguns
  17. 59 The Porkin's enthusiasts and the rebo band
  18. 59 Survivors of Alderaan
  19. 57 When I go SOLO, I touch my hairy wookie
  20. 56 Han shot first, Leia came second
  21. 56 Let the Wookie win
  22. 56 You though we smelled bad on the outside
  23. 54 Luke's left hand
  24. 54 The 501st Legion
  25. 53 Lando's smooth motherfucker
  26. 52 Spock's special ladies
  27. 47 We clearly lack metachlorious
  28. 43 May the force brew with you
  29. 34 Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, this woman needs to get Leia'd… you're my only hope

You're a Quizzer, Harry…. The HP Quiz is June 8!

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We can't wait to get our Ravenclaws into this one! Finally, after much speculation our Harry Potter quiz hits Milwaukee's newest downtown pub, Who's on Third, Sunday June 8th at 7 p.m.

The quiz comes after many requests from regular queeps for a HP quiz, and are going to hufflepuff to make these quiz dreams come true.

Drink specials for the quiz have yet to be determined but we'll be sure to let ya know once we've figured that out. Prizes for first, second and the best Harry Potter-themed team name will be awarded.

So slytherin to Who's, located at 1007 N. Old World 3rd Street, on Sunday June 8th for a good time. We advise early arrivals to guarantee a good seat. The show starts at 7 p.m.!


Specially-themed quiz FAQs

Do we pre-register, sign up online? 
No. We do these events like it's 1999. Just show up --- we advise you arrive a little early to grab a good seat --- drink, think and have fun. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, no reservations.

Okay, how much is it? 
Five-dollar-holla. Or $5 as you common folk might say. Bring cash, pay the Quizmaster and take homage in knowing that your money's going to a good cause.

It's for charity?
In most cases yes. Events vary but proceeds from various special-themed quizzes go to a selected charity of the winning team's choice.

What are the prizes?
This will vary with each event but typically most are offering standard moolah for first place, second place and the best themed team name.

Can I wear a special outfit or costume?
Absolutely. Particularly if you want to feature on the blog. Hey, in some cases we even have costume contests and give out extra stash for those dressed up folks!

Can people under 21 play?
That's out of our hands we're afraid, and will vary depending on the venue. We'll be sure to communicate that via our Facebook page for each specific event, but if you're unsure just call the venue in advance to find out.

Is there a team-size limit? 
Surprisingly no! While we typically have an 8-person limit for our regular quiz nights, we keep the specially-themed events open. Why? Well, we figured you'll need all the brain power possible, plus it means more players, and more money, for a good cause.

Do spectators have to pay? 
Yup. If someone on your team is just there and "doesn't really know anything" they still have to cough up the 500 cents. Just assure them it's going to sick kids in Africa and they should feel good about their donation. Oh, and they can deduct it from their taxes too.

I own/manage a venue. Can I host such an event at my bar?
It depends. We only work with existing Quizmaster clients on our specially themed event, so hire us now and perhaps we can work something out. Such venues must fit certain criteria too.  Location and venue size are key, especially when we've been known to pull in over 100 people for certain events.

Best pub quiz team names of the month... May 2014!

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Brass Monkey
  • This Quiz Was Harder Than Chinese Algebra 
  • It's Not Gay if it's in a 3-Way
  • Crimea? More Like Cry Me A River

Cafe Centraal
  • Oh Shoot, I Missed Kim Kardashian's Wedding. That's Fine, I'll Just Watch The Next One
  • Martin Lawrence of Arabia
  • Mark Cuban aka Donald Sterling Lite
  • Ha-Ha, You're A Packer!
  • I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With The Quizmaster
  • Giraffe In High Heels
  •  Even If We Lose, At Least Joffrey Is Dead



Cafe Hollander
  • All African countries look the same.
  • In S'Mongolia dead babies eat S'mores
  • Putin On The Ritz 
  • "Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix", What Was Uttered Under The Oval Office Desk
  • Anal Sex At Noon Taxes Lana (It's A Palindrome!)
  • My Girlfriend Is Drinking For Two 
  • My Dick Is The Longest Nerve

Caffrey's Pub
  • Talk derby to me
  • Indoor kites, how do they fly 
  • Killing them with kindness...and herpes
  • The whitest walkers

Camp Bar
  • We Are Against The Heat, The Basketball Team, Not The Weather
  • The Ottoman Empire Still Existed The Last Time The Cubs Won The World Series 
  • How Do You Start A Memorial Day Parade In Milwaukee? Roll a 40 Down The Street
  • Bloody Mary: Not Just a Bar Drink, But My Friday Night
  • Tongue Slap in the Fart Box
  • Donald Sterling's Scrotum Smashers
  • Gang of Thrones Starring Tyrone Lannister 
  • I'm Not Gay, But $20 is $20
  • Michael Sam: Once a Tight End, Now a Wide Receiver
  • Ha Ha Clinton Dix, Monica Lewinsky's Favorite Packer
  • My girlfriend said I was a pedophile, that's a pretty big word for a 5-year-old 
  • We Just Found Out We're Really Bad at Geography



Club Garibaldi
  • Watching Suarez cry was like watching unicorns jizz rainbows!
  • This selfie requires lotion

Fixture Brewing Company
  • We May Be Slow, But We're Faster Than The VA 
  • Tiger Woods Nails 18 Holes In A Day And Still finds Time To Golf
  • We Are Ashamed Of What We Did For A Klondike Bar...
  • If You Use Camouflage Condoms, She Will Never See You Coming..
  • A Load In Her Mouth Is Worth Two In Her Bush
  • Eatin Ain't Cheatin 
  • Not Tonight Baby, I Just Quizzed It

Fox River House
  • You Were Making Out During Shindlers List
  • Monika Lewinsky’s Favorite Packer: Clinton Dix
  • Most people don’t remember Samuel L. Jackson’s first on-screen performance “Black Dicks Fucking White Chicks… Mutha Fuckah
  • The Price is Wrong, Bitch!! 
  • I got my first blowjob after watching the movie “Donnie Darko”. (True story)

The Hotch Spot
  • Is that semen on your shirt? 
  • As long as I have a face, you have a place to sit 
  • What do the Packers and Monica Lewinski have in common? Clinton-Dix
  • Shoot First, Ask Christian Slater
  • My lightsaber changes colors

The Highbury
  • Let's All Pretend to Love Maya Angelou
  • I'll show you my tittle if you show me yours...
  • Young? Professionals?
  • Condoms and Rattlesnakes: Two things I don't fuck with
  • Kidnapped 270 black women on North Ave. and no one gave a shit
  • Die Hard with a Boner
  • I Found My Obedient Bride at NigerianMatchMaker.com
  • Tom Hanks sends a volleyball to Micronesia every time you watch Castaway

Jack's American Pub
  • Whoever said "the way to a mans heart is through his stomach" has never tried blowjobs 
  • PEN15 CLUB
  • My girlfriend assures me a small penis is ok, but I still wish she didn't have it
  • Relationship Status: Making relationship jokes at Trivia Night
  • Relationship status: just bought a ten pound tub of vaseline
  • I swipe right for puppies
  • Sex life status: Somebody's eating crabs with their tuna tonight (and not for dinner)

Loaded Slate
  • Putin Got My Poonanni 
  • On a Scale of MLK to Donald Sterling, How Racist Are You, Paul?
  • Donald Sterling's Defense Team 

McGillycuddy's
  • Hipsters hate rivers... Too mainstream
  • Will Smith. The love child of will Ferrell and chad smith blind prostitutes
  • You gotta hand it to them Coat Hangers... Really Bring out the Kid in You
  • Sterlings Guest List
  • We Brought Black People, Fuck Donald Sterling


 
Miller Time Pub 
  • Other Than that, how was the parade Mrs. Kennedy
  • Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia
  • Does Cinqo De Mayo Fall on May 5th Every Year?

Milwaukee Beer Bistro
  • Please just give us the $10, we forgot our wallets at HOME :(
  • That Itch you can't scratch

Milwaukee Brat House
  • Lawrence of a Labia
  • America's national language is God, guns and freedom
  • I got invited to Rory McIlroy's wedding. Now I'm pissed
  • Bitch ass hoe skank motherfucker
  • It's been a year, can we try anal?
  • Conchita Wurst: the wiener takes it all"
  • Don't get Schlitzed and drive" 
  • Macaulay Culkin masterbates at Home Alone



New Berlin Ale House
  • Shoot, I missed Kim Kardashian's Wedding... Oh Well, I'll Just Watch The Next One 
  • These Are Not The Trivia Questions We're Looking For
  • Lesbian Barbie Comes In Her Own Box
  • Sterling Is Innocent
  • Ha Ha Clinton Dix: What Was Uttered Under The Oval Office Desk
  • I Thought "Let's Eat Out" Was Jizz Master Dan's Slogan
  • This Was Going To Be Dirtier But Both Our Parents Are Here

O'Lydias
  • O'Lydia's Clamydias
  • Go Get Your Fucking Shine Box
  • 3 guys, 1 girl, and a porn stache
  • Sister-in-law in an elevator with 100 problems 
  • Trivia - The most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

Red Rock Saloon
  • Nelly really knows his country grammar
  • Participation points are what matters
  • Mexicans one day a year

Riverwest Filling Station 
  • Save the Whales, Save Rob Kardashian!
  • Does Marcellus Wallace Look Like a Bitch?!
  • Somewhere there is a Malaysian plane with 300 Nigerian girls on it
  • If April showers bring May flowers, do May flowers bring pilgrims?
  • Rob Ford Fan Club

St. Francis Brewery
  • That's a Really Big Wand Harry
  • Greece is the Word...That We've Used for Three of Our Answers
  • ACTRIVIA!
  • Race Walking Looks Like Something I Do When I'm Not Going to Make it to the Bathroom!
  • I've Got 99 Problems and Getting in Elevator Fights is One
  • Vince Condella's Porn Stache Meets Albert the Alley Cat
  • So I Hear Paula Deen is Buying the Clippers
  • The GIF That Keeps on Giffing.

Titletown Brewing Co.
  • I got 99 problems and an in-law is one (hit me) 
  • California Chrome wins by a nasal strip

Three Lions Pub
  • Jamie's cock is bigger than Brownie's
  • Pedophiles that don't fit in 
  • Trivia night aka Will Smith's greatest hits

Two Bucks
  • The Walking Talking Stephen Hawking
  • Say No to Thugs
  • Russell Westbrook loves weird clothes
  • Michael Sam's Butt Rams
  • Blind Prostitutes, You Gotta Hand It To 'Em
  • Fuck you for question 20! Sincerely, the only two people in the room who don't watch Game of Thrones
  • What's the difference between St. Patty's Day and Cinco De Mayo? You don't have the shits after St. Patty's Day
  • Don't Pick on Fat People, They Have Enough on Their Plate 
  • Jay Z's 100th Problem


Whiskey Bar
  • In A Recent Stress Test, If You Masturbate 5 Times A Week, You Reduce Your Chance Of Colon Cancer 
  • Roger Sterling Needs Jerry Maguire's Help and Yell "I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!" Into a Camera 
  • "Let's Eat Out"....Also The Slogan For Tampax
  • My Girlfriend Is 3ft Tall and I'm Nuts Over Her

Great GOBLETS OF FIRE!! Our Harry Potter Quiz recap...

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WOW! Muggles and half-blood queeps from all over MKE slytherined downtown to Old World Third Street this Sunday night for "You're a Quizzer, Harry: The Harry Potter Quiz!"

The quiz, which saw Quizmaster's largest crowd EVER at 61 teams and over 250 peeps, was supposed to take place exclusively at Who's on Third, but due to the overwhelmingly number of Muggle faces we also took over theMilwaukee Brat Houseas well!

Two bars; same awesome quiz; double the prizes!!

So the quiz was simultaneously hosted at two Third Street venues, which meant double the prizes. Plus we threw in an extra $60 tab for the overall highest score between both venues!!

Getting the quiz up and running was quite the Hufflepuff but Who's on Third were even serving up their own Goblets of Fire to get muggles through the chaos...


The results rolled in and we recorded 61 teams from the night's massive event…


That's a lot of answer sheets!!

As expected, there was a plethora of awesome-sauce Harry Potter team names, with each venue offering a prize for that award. At the Brat House, the accolade went to Gilderoy Lockhart is a fucking pussy!, who got an overwhelming roar and cheer for their frankness...


Bravo gang!

Who's saw I got your 9 3/4 right here! get the biggest laugh, and a gift card went their way...


Penis jokes never fail to impress!

Other honorable mentions for team names include the four teams who used the moniker 99 Problems but a snitch ain't one --- We saw Dumbledore at Pride Fest --- It's not my wand in my pocket ---  Harry Twatter and the Sorcerer's Bone(r) ---  I'm gonna Rita Skeeter all up on your rockin' quaffles --- My name isn't Myrtle, but I sure could use a moan and 2 Witches, 1 Broomstick.

Second places were up next and Ron's a Bitch took that award at the Brat House…


While the two-witch crew of  It's Levi-ooh-sa, not Levio-sah took the same award at Who's…


Pronounce it correctly people!!

Then there was top spot. The chosen one (or two, in this case), you might say. The Brat's top team were Snitches and Horcruxes with 75 points...


Well done ladies.

Although if they would have played at Who's they would have places tied for fifth with the same score. Although in fairness Who's did have two-thirds of the teams playing there.

However, twas the Harry Potter dorks from Can I Slytherin to your Chamber of Secrets that notched up 79 from 83 points to seal the overall win and enshrine their name in Quizmaster folklore…


And seeing as their two die-hard members had the full Hogwarts uniforms, it was clearly meant to be for them...


Something about those uniforms ladies!

Oh, and then there was this...



Courtesy of@Juluel315's Instagram.

Giving the overwhelming success of the event, and clear popularity of Mr. Potter, plans are already in the works for Harry Potter Trivia, Round 2!!! Watch this space muggles!!

Until next time Milwaukee, drink while you think…

Sunday June 8th, 2014 Harry Potter Quiz Scores:


  1. 79 Can I Slytherin to your Chamber of Secrets
  2. 77 It's Levi-ooh-sa, not Levio-sah
  3. 76 The Magical Museum Menargerie
  4. 76 Half Drunk Princes and Princesses
  5. 75 Snitches and Horcruxes (1st Brat House)
  6. 75 I'm gonna Rita Skeeter all up on your rockin' quaffles
  7. 75 TriWizard Trivia
  8. 75 Dumbledorks
  9. 75 Hagrid and the Blast Ended Sluts
  10. 75 The Real House Elves of Diagon Alley
  11. 74 I'm the one who makes moaning Myrtle moan
  12. 73 Ron's a Bitch (2nd Brat House)
  13. 73 You mom is a Horcrux
  14. 72 Harry Twatter and the Sorcerer's Bone(r)
  15. 72 Snitches get stitches
  16. 72 The Skeeters!!! 
  17. 71 We saw Dumbledore at Pride Fest
  18. 71 99 Problems but a snitch ain't one
  19. 70 Dumbledorks
  20. 70 The Chosen Ones
  21. 70 The-team-that-shall-not-be-named
  22. 70 Wait, who's Harry Potter
  23. 70 McGonagall's Tight Buns
  24. 70 The Best Little Horcrux in Texas
  25. 70 It's not my wand in my pocket
  26. 70 The reason Mandrake's cry
  27. 69 Alas, Earwax
  28. 69 Fred's not dead
  29. 69 Accio Beer!
  30. 68 Your mom's a muggle
  31. 68 Dumbledore's beards
  32. 68 I got your 9 3/4 right here!
  33. 68 Gilderoy Lockhart is a fucking pussy! (best name, Brat House)
  34. 67 Mischief managed
  35. 67 Save a broomstick, ride a seeker
  36. 65 My name isn't Myrtle, but I sure could use a moan.
  37. 65 Mischief Managed
  38. 65 For Fawke's Sake
  39. 65 We who must not be named
  40. 64 The Slenderman Spellcasters
  41. 64 My 9 3/4 will take you to magical places
  42. 63 Our patronuses are Riverwest Stein, Cider Boys and Louie's Demise
  43. 63 Fizzing Quizbees
  44. 63 99 Problems but a snitch ain't one
  45. 62 Harry Snitches
  46. 62 99 Problems but a snitch ain't one
  47. 61 Club Harry
  48. 60 The Beer Garden is full of Nargles
  49. 60 Accio right answers and a butter beer
  50. 60 You're a Harry Wizard
  51. 59 The team that must not be named
  52. 58 Harry Twatter and the Sorcerer's Bone
  53. 58 Muggle Mayhem
  54. 56 Rita "skeet skeet" Skeeter
  55. 56 The Gryffindor Brats
  56. 53 Fucklepuff
  57. 51 Aberforth's Goat Rescue
  58. 50 2 Witches, 1 Broomstick
  59. 48 99 Problems but a snitch ain't one
  60. 42 Big Black Patronuses
  61. 41 Harry pulls out but Ron doesn't (My Harry Potter has Hogwarts)

You'll Never Quiz Alone. The All-Things-Football Pub Quiz is July 6...

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It's that time again, World Cup season! And with the tournament only happening once every four years, we've gotta take advantage of the festivities.

Having said that, the Three Lions Pub will be our host on Sunday July 6th for our All-Things-Football Pub Quiz...


And just so we're not lost in translation, of course by football we mean futbol (or soccer for you rednecks).

With the Three Lions having been a melting pot for Premier League fans (particularly "scousers") this past season, there is no better place in Wisconsin to hold such an event. The quiz will take place one week before the World Cup final --- there will NOT be any World Cup matches that day.

"You'll Never Quiz Alone" pays homage to the popular football chant, You'll Never Walk Alone, sang by Liverpool and Celtic fans…


But if you didn't know that already you probably want to give this quiz a miss!

Topics for the event will include World Cup, Premier League, Champions League, pop culture and a plethora of other football-related trivia.

Again, a $5-per-person entry fee will be asked for from all players (pay on the night), with the proceeds going to a charity of the winning team's choice. Arrive early though as such events have been known to be packed (ask the Harry Potter fans) in the past.

Quiztime is 7pm sharp on Sunday July 6th.


Specially-themed quiz FAQs

Do we pre-register, sign up online? 
No. We do these events like it's 1999. Just show up --- we advise you arrive a little early to grab a good seat --- drink, think and have fun. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, no reservations.

Okay, how much is it? 
Five-dollar-holla. Or $5 as you common folk might say. Bring cash, pay the Quizmaster and take homage in knowing that your money's going to a good cause.

It's for charity?
In most cases yes. Events vary but proceeds from various special-themed quizzes go to a selected charity of the winning team's choice.

What are the prizes?
This will vary with each event but typically most are offering standard moolah for first place, second place and the best themed team name.

Can I wear a special outfit or costume?
Absolutely. Particularly if you want to feature on the blog. Hey, in some cases we even have costume contests and give out extra stash for those dressed up folks!

Can people under 21 play?
That's out of our hands we're afraid, and will vary depending on the venue. We'll be sure to communicate that via our Facebook page for each specific event, but if you're unsure just call the venue in advance to find out.

Is there a team-size limit? 
Surprisingly no! While we typically have an 8-person limit for our regular quiz nights, we keep the specially-themed events open. Why? Well, we figured you'll need all the brain power possible, plus it means more players, and more money, for a good cause.

Do spectators have to pay? 
Yup. If someone on your team is just there and "doesn't really know anything" they still have to cough up the 500 cents. Just assure them it's going to sick kids in Africa and they should feel good about their donation. Oh, and they can deduct it from their taxes too.

I own/manage a venue. Can I host such an event at my bar?
It depends. We only work with existing Quizmaster clients on our specially themed event, so hire us now and perhaps we can work something out. Such venues must fit certain criteria too.  Location and venue size are key, especially when we've been known to pull in over 100 people for certain events.

Best Team Names of the Month - June 2014!

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Brass Monkey
  • The Only Thing That's Sunk Since the Titanic is Kate Winslet's Breasts. 
  • Anal Beads Just Ain't My Thing
  • Bring Back Pluto 
  • Fuck Soccer, This is America
  • 2 Guys, 60 Wings, No Problem
  • What Do Gynecologists and Pizza Delivery Drivers Have in Common? They Both Get to Smell it, but They Don't Get to Touch It.
  • Edward Penis Hands 
  • I like em young, dumb and full of cum
  • We Put the Q in Cuba
  • Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man
  • Fuck it, Let's Go Bowling

Cafe Centraal
  • We were less prepared for this quiz than Brazil was for the World Cup 
  • Too drunk for Trivia 
  • If You Watch Friends, It's Because You Don't Have Any 
  • Chuck Lidell Is My Biological Father. Call Me Ice Baby.
  • Frankly My Dear, I Don't Give A Fuck 


Cafe Hollander
  • Like The American Soccer Team, I Always Give It Up In The End
  • Dempsey's Moist Right Nut Can Score Better Than I Can! 
  • Did You Know Braile Was Developed By The Germans? Because Blind People Can Not See
  • Two Girls. World Cup 
  • It takes Clint Dempsey only 30 seconds to score, but it takes me only 30 seconds to finish
  • You Ghana Lose!!!
  • Putin's Tinder Profile 
  • I Got 99 Problems But A Quiz Ain't One

Caffrey's Pub
  • Liquor? I Don't Even Know Her! 
  • We Can't Spall

Camp Bar
  • The Ghana-rea's (World Cup - Get It?) 
  • America's "Ghana" Win It All
  • Two Girls World Cup
  • Sex Life in a Movie Title: Gone in 60 Seconds 
  • No Taxation Without Synchronized Swimming
  • Baby Puss: Flinstone Character or Felony?

Fixture Brewing Company
  • Chiellini's Tasty Shoulder 
  • Show Me On The Doll Where The Gnome Touched You
  • Save A Tree, Eat A Beaver
  • It's fun to Change Wikipedia on Quiz Days to Change the Answers of Quiz Hints
  • Five Flesh Colored Bag of Dicks
  • Woody and Buzz Are Also The Names Of Andy's Mom's Toys
  • Handicap Bathroom Stalls Are Ironically The Only Ones That Are Big Enough To run Around In

Fox River House
  • We may be small but… it’s how you use it! 
  • I took my John D. and Rock & Felt her crotch.
  • Give Donald Sterling season tickets to the Bucks! 
  • Not “Ghana” Beat “Us”

The Hotch Spot
  • Quiz in my pants
  • Uruguay? More like ur-a-gross! Walked in on my roommate quizzing
  • Say hello to your motha fo me.

The Highbury
  • Ever since my Nip/Tuck I can't clean and jerk the way I used to.
  • Two Girls, One World Cup 
  • Fat kids are harder to kidnap 
  • Fat Man and Little Boy are the names of my butt plugs

Jack's American Pub
  • Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica 
  • Trivia group of death, group of trivia death or group of death trivia??
  • Keep calm and dispose of the body
  • Can we buy best team name like Qatar bought the World Cup?
  • In God we thrust 
  • Getting a chest tattoo of a much better looking chest

Loaded Slate
  • I just invented and read out loud the word 'SMOOTCHCOCK', and YOU ladies and gentlemen are the premiere audience
  • Kim Kardashian: The Ultimate Cum-Back Story 
  • THE LOADED SLUTS! 
  • I'll show you my Clinton-Dix... Haha

McGillycuddy's
  • I never want Luis Suarez going down on me 
  • 2 Girls, 1 World Cup, (one of the girls is Cristiano Ronaldo) 
  • Rape me is my safety word 
  • If you want to get in my pants, it aint Ghana Happen
  • Cum Guzling Thunder Cunts 
  • They tried to make Chuck Norris Toilet paper. But it didnt work cause Chuck Norris takes shit from no one 


Miller Time Pub 
  • It's Jake, from State Farm....

Milwaukee Beer Bistro
  • Bruno mars is better than bruno earth
  • The Answer is Dave Chappelle
  • You're a quizzard, Harry
  • I like my women like i like my coffee, ground up and in the freezer
  • Mitch Killed a guy with a trident, he should probably law low for awhile 


Milwaukee Brat House
  • I've got 60 pounds of Raging Bull… in my pants
  • Suarez's Dentures 
  • Lettuce Turnip the Beets
  • You can't motorboat personality
  • God Save the QUEEF
  • You know where you can fund the best stuff on Earth? In my pants
  • Dumbo? Niger, please
  • My dick is made from the best stuff on Earth
  • I've got a "slender man" that will cut you up… in my pants
  • J stands for Jizz in my periodic table

Mulligans Irish Pub
  • Hey Ross, remember that time your friends peed in your shoes in Eau Claire. That was funny. Love, Nick. 
  • Quiz in my Pants

New Berlin Ale House
  • Defending Our Title Like Spain
  • Just Like The US Soccer Team, We Always Give It Up In The End.
  • Uraguayan Vampires
  • Absolutely No Chance Of Winning
  • Schlinder's Trivia List 
  • Soccer Players Give Good Headers
  • Kanye West Ham & Eggs
  • Oberyn Martell's Splitting Headache 


O'Lydias
  • Bippity-Boppity-Buttfuck
  • I Went To Trivia Night And All I Got Right Was My Team Name
  • Every time I ask to eat out she says she has a headache.
  • Tampex - "Lets Eat Out" 
  • What has two thumbs and has to get home before the Viagra kicks in? This guy!

Riverwest Filling Station 
  • Whatever people think I am, that's what I am
  • When does real football start?
  • My World Cup is bigger than your World Cup
  • Camouflage Condoms: She didn't see us coming...
  • Ronaldo's bronzed, glistening, rippling, goosebump-inducing six-pack

St. Francis Brewery
  • We Believe That We Are Drunk!
  • We Grilled Lady Gaga's Meat Suit for Dinner!
  • Nerds of a Feather Flock Together!
  • Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride 
  • Baby Cage: Best Baby Shower Gift Ever 
  • If This Was the World Cup of Trivia, We'd be the United States

Titletown Brewing Co.
  • Keep your feet on the ground? More like six feet underground! RIP Casey Kaysum
  • We're Ghana soccer it to yah! 
  • KFC customers are dicks 
  • What do you mean: We're not Ghana win 
  • Donald Sterling's Frambily Plan 
  • Anne Frank: Hide & Seek Runner Up

Two Bucks
  • Vodka Escapades: Bitches Be Pregaming 
  • Camouflage Condoms, she didn't see us coming
  • Slutty She-Males
  • And they thought they were Ghana win...
  • All in or nothing. There is no substitute. Trojan.
  • She said to kiss her where it stinks, so I took her to Cudahy
  • Rattlesnakes & Condoms, two things I don't fuck with
  • You're a Jizzer Harry 


Whiskey Bar
  • The Suarez Snappers 
  • Luis Suarez's Favorite Food Is Italian
  • I QM Matt, Am Excited To Announce The QM 5K. See Me To Sign Up 
  • Chuck Norris Is The Reason Waldo Is Hiding

Don't Have a Quiz, Man! The Simpson Quiz is Sunday July 27th.

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Aye, Caramba! After 25 seasons of entertaining America and the world, we at Quizmaster bring you The Simpsons Quiz on Sunday July 27th. And what better place to host this one-time D'oh-down than at Jack's American Pub...


The quiz will cover a whole plethora of Springfield (and some Shelbyville) topics dating as far back as the family's first appearance on The Tracy Ullman Show in 1989. The quiz will follow the usual six-rounds, 30-questions format, with prizes as usual for 1st place, 2nd place and the best Simpsons-inspired team name.

The event will be $5/person with the dollars going to a charity of the winning team's choice.

As always, it's advised to ARRIVE EARLY, as these events are often jam packed and even with the two-story capacity of Jack's it will likely be like a nuclear power plant meltdown: overflowing with quiz peeps (just ask the 29 teams from our Star Wars Quiz).


Specially-themed quiz FAQs

Do we pre-register, sign up online? 
No. We do these events like it's 1999. Just show up --- we advise you arrive a little early to grab a good seat --- drink, think and have fun. Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis, no reservations.

Okay, how much is it? 
Five-dollar-holla. Or $5 as you common folk might say. Bring cash, pay the Quizmaster and take homage in knowing that your money's going to a good cause.

It's for charity?
In most cases yes. Events vary but proceeds from various special-themed quizzes go to a selected charity of the winning team's choice.

What are the prizes?
This will vary with each event but typically most are offering standard moolah for first place, second place and the best themed team name.

Can I wear a special outfit or costume?
Absolutely. Particularly if you want to feature on the blog. Hey, in some cases we even have costume contests and give out extra stash for those dressed up folks!

Can people under 21 play?
That's out of our hands we're afraid, and will vary depending on the venue. We'll be sure to communicate that via our Facebook page for each specific event, but if you're unsure just call the venue in advance to find out.

Is there a team-size limit? 
Surprisingly no! While we typically have an 8-person limit for our regular quiz nights, we keep the specially-themed events open. Why? Well, we figured you'll need all the brain power possible, plus it means more players, and more money, for a good cause.

Do spectators have to pay? 
Yup. If someone on your team is just there and "doesn't really know anything" they still have to cough up the 500 cents. Just assure them it's going to sick kids in Africa and they should feel good about their donation. Oh, and they can deduct it from their taxes too.

I own/manage a venue. Can I host such an event at my bar?
It depends. We only work with existing Quizmaster clients on our specially themed event, so hire us now and perhaps we can work something out. Such venues must fit certain criteria too.  Location and venue size are key, especially when we've been known to pull in over 100 people for certain events.

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